BalancingAct

Executive Coaching for Working Moms

2010-04-29T09:25:00.000-07:00

CELEBRATE MOTHER'S DAY THIS YEAR by enrolling in a Working MAMA executive coaching group.

Mimi Darmstadter and Meredith Persily Lamel, executive coaches and human capital consultants, launched Working MAMA to address the goals of high-achieving working moms who seek continued success and satisfaction professionally while also succeeding in their roles as parents. Coaching groups begin in May and meet two hours monthly for six months over breakfast or lunch. Working MAMA's approach is based on the Immunity to Change model developed by Harvard Professors Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey.A lunch group will launch in NW Washington DC on 5/24. The Alliance for Workplace Excellence and Working MAMA have partnered and will launch two Montgomery County groups this May (a lunch group beginning 5/13 in Silver Spring at Discovery Communications and a breakfast group beginning 5/18 in Bethesda at the Alliance). Mention the Alliance receive a 5% discount for the MD groups! Enroll by May 3 and receive an additional 5% discount.

More details at: http://excellentworkplace.org/events.html

Please share this information with other working moms you know. It may be the best gift they receive!If you have questions, please call us at 301.728.6487 or 202.365.5559

http://www.workingmamagroup.com

Running for office ...

2010-04-21T06:38:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends and Colleagues,

I hope this e-mail finds you well. I know you are all quite busy, so please allow me to take just a couple minutes of your time to ask for your support. A few months ago, I decided to run for a position that would allow me to serve on the board of the Women's Bar Association of the District of Columbia (WBA). I was introduced to the WBA as a law student and summer associate at White & Case because my summer class was invited to attend the WBA Annual Dinner. That dinner was both inspiring and motivating as I listened to the speakers and joined with other participants to recognize the accomplishments of women whose names I cannot recall, but on whose shoulders I stand today.

Eleven years later, the WBA continues to be an important part of my professional life and a powerful advocate for the advancement of all women lawyers. I am excited about being able to serve on the WBA Board because I believe it will give me the opportunity and platform to work on issues that are dear to my heart - namely, mentoring of female law students and junior women lawyers. I believe our ability to inform, shape and guide the legal careers of women during the early stages is critically important to the issues of advancement and retention that relate to women lawyers.

During my career, I have been fortunate to be mentored by many successful women. I still rely heavily on many of these women for professional and even personal guidance, particularly as I try to navigate the often tumultuous work-life balance waters. In turn, I am also committed to supporting the careers of women law students and junior lawyers. With your support, I hope I will be able to join the WBA Board, make a positive contribution to the WBA and participate more actively in the process that would ensure the continued success and advancement of women lawyers. If you are a WBA member, you should have already received your ballot, so I urge you to complete and return it at your earliest convenience. If you are not a WBA member, I would encourage you to sign up - I promise you will not regret the decision!

Thanks again for your time and support.

Warm regards,

Ama

Happy New Year

2010-01-01T07:24:00.000-08:00

Keeping it short and sweet - feeling incredibly thankful to have ended the decade with a beautiful healthy family, a roof over our heads (jobs), food on our table (jobs) and lots of love in my life. Happy 2010!

Balancing Moms on the Rise!

2009-12-09T09:34:00.000-08:00

Hill Veteran Kristin Wells Joins Patton Boggs' Renowned Public Policy Team

Teachable Moment

2009-12-08T19:46:00.001-08:00

Second grade home-work came down on me like a ton of bricks. Yes, you read that right. It came down on ME - as I was frantically trying to figure out the magic formula to getting home from work only to be faced with home-work assignments that had me asking Princess incredulously, on an almost daily basis: "didn't they teach you how to do this at school?"
I would approach the home-work process begrudgingly, leading to much frustration for me and Princess (and even hubby once he got home as I would immediately let him know just how much he was NOT contributing to this process).

Then at the end of second grade, it was like a lightbulb went off in my head - the money I pay the school for my daughter's education does not take the place of my active parenting. I needed to change my attitude about this process. So at the end of second grade I headed to bookstores, picked up summer bridge activities and brainquest workbooks, downloaded and printed numerous online materials from the math playground and started our "home, home-work" (as we fondly call it). Princess and I started having "bonding time" around academic activities all summer and throughout the school year. Princess is now soaring academically and consistently approaches her work with a positive attitude and a willingness to try new things.

Last weekend Princess wrote an essay - and shared that one of her favorite activities is spending time at night with her mom doing "work". When I asked her why, she responded - "it's because I get to learn in a fun way and spend time with you." And just like that I was reminded - life (and parenting) really isn't so much about what you do, but how you do it.

Halloween Math

2009-11-01T19:25:00.001-08:00

This morning I sat with my kids as we sorted, grouped and counted their Halloween candy - it was really Princess' math homework and not to be undone, Prince joined in the fun. So I thought I would provide Princess with some additional math facts to chew on ... the next time Halloween falls on a Saturday, you will be 8 + 7 ... yes, my Princess will be 15. This means, our next Halloween Saturday party will look nothing like the one we had last night. Yet one more reason to remember that we should savor these moments (rushing from one Halloween party back home to another Halloween party combined with trick-o-treating). Exhausted at the end of the day? Sure! But with math facts like these... need I say more?

Birthday Dilemma

2009-10-30T18:27:00.000-07:00

So during the period that I was absent from my blog, my son celebrated his 4th birthday. Of course, on the other side of the scale, was the marketing summit that was being put on by my clients at work - a week long intensive of meetings, break out sessions, lunches, dinners etc. What to do? Attend the dine-a-round dinner or skip out for the birthday celebration.

I finally made peace with the fact that although the summit was conveniently located in my home city (this time), if it was in another city, birthday or not, I would have missed the festivities. Instead I focused on the reality that Prince did not know exactly which "day" of the week was his birthday -- so we sang happy birthday the night before then celebrated in fine style at his party the following Saturday.

Sometimes being a working mom means you will miss precious moments. But increasingly, I am realizing that the key to my sanity is making choices that are practical with the understanding that I cannot be everywhere, all the time and I will never make everyone in my life happy. So if my son is too young to realize that we celebrate his birthday on a day that isn't his birthday, then the world won't stop if I "miss" his birthday... especially if I make up for it by giving him personal neighborhood train rides at his party :-)

Girls Day Out

2009-10-24T18:30:00.000-07:00

So Princess recently joined this after school activity - "Go Girls Go". A phenomenal program introduced by her PE teacher to get the 3-6th grade girls bonding and focusing on healthy attitudes. A part of this program involves a few Saturday excursions with girls and their moms. Today was the first - a hike through Rock Creek Park. Not sure why I was under the impression that this would be a leisurely stroll through the park, inhaling fresh air and observing the fall leaves. Instead, it's a power walk through the trail - up hill, down hill, around hill. The moral of the story - when a PE teacher is leading a hike, it is meant to be heart rate increasing exercise. It is now 9:40 and I still have not recovered - mild throbbing pain in my head coupled with aching joints. Girls Day Out has certainly lead to Mom's night in as Princess is off at a sleep over with her girls. On the bright side, Prince is neatly tucked away in bed (as not to be undone, he had a friend sleep over tonight too)! All's well that ends well. Now for a martini and a good night's rest.

Memorable Moments

2009-10-18T22:03:00.000-07:00

Last night I decided that I would start my re-entry to the blogging world by sharing daily "memorable moments". Little things that happened over the past few months that are worth sharing. In true Murphy's law fashion, the process created another memorable moment of its own. While drafting my note, hubby comes in to inform me that I "forgot" to pay a bill. I retort indignantly that I did no such thing and direct him to my folder of "paid" bills. Sure enough, the bill is hiding in the bottom of my folder (unnoticed and unpaid). In the mayhem that ensues, Prince starts jumping all over, I'm trying to figure out what happened, and my entire post gets deleted, thereby shutting down my Memorable Moments effort. I've decided this is a temporary setback and hope to share some noteworthy moments over the next few days. Stay tuned.

Change is in!

2009-10-16T17:47:00.000-07:00

What a summer it's been! Got a new job - this explains the fact that I haven't updated my blog basically since I accepted that job. It's kind of weird, I feel like I'm in this state of suspended animation - I haven't worked out or blogged since. I have this feeling that this change has added a huge weight on the scale, and I've been operating with this fear, that the slightest thing might tip the scale in the wrong direction. So I've dropped a few non-essentials and tried to focus on big picture things. I'm carefully trying to balance all the natural stressers that go along with a new job, while incorporating all the essential fall activities - kids back at school, parent volunteer activities, required school events, kid's birthdays and of course, extra-curricular activities.

So to go along with the new job, I'm focusing on having a new attitude. These are my new rules: Simplify. I've embraced the reality that each child does not need to do 5 activities to be well rounded. Princess is now doing two activities only (gymnastics and piano) and Prince is doing one (swimming). The nice thing about having a big spread between the kids is that you can cut yourself some slack. Princess only started taking piano lessons seriously last year and she's excelling. So now I know I need not spend thousands (literally) of dollars taking Prince to music classes between the ages of 3-6. Embrace. Embrace the imbalance and especially the tough moments. So instead of getting frustrated with the significant parental involvement that homework necessitated last year, I've decided that I'm going to view this as an opportunity to keep learning. I'm learning new ways to do math and new facts about US history (which I never studies as a kid since I did not grow up in the US).

Here's the punch line - now that I've embraced the need to help with homework, Princess has taken another one of those turns - she doesn't seem to need my help anymore. Not sure how long this will last ... but it sure feels good and it is a reminder that change is inevitable. Even as I typed this blog, Prince started screaming because he wanted to look at the Power Puff girls on my iphone, but for some reason it wouldn't work. I just kept typing - said a few calm words to him - and kept typing. Then remarkably, the crying stopped. I've finished my post and I'm reminded - change is inevitable - no condition in life is permanent ... not even a crying baby (that would be my now four year old son)!

Something new ...

2009-06-25T02:48:00.000-07:00

About a month ago I decided that I'm going to embrace the corporate experience in its entirety. For years (10 years to be precise) I have been struggling with the corporate establishment - engaged in this push and pull - trying to be a rising professional star, while at the same time being a star mom. Yet, if I had to be honest with myself, I could admit that my professional "best" has always come with resentment (because of what it took from my kids) while my mommy best comes with feelings of joy and accomplishment (most of the time). The irony is that the things my professional best give me - i.e. the ability to live in a beautiful home, in a great neighborhood and to send my kids to private school - should never be taken lightly or disregarded.

This is the reality that made me sign up for golf lessons with a friend about a month ago. Off we went, two weekends in a row, to Olney Golf Park for what have turned out to be very fun lessons. Then, to make it better, we went to practice one Saturday morning because my friend lives on a golf course in Bethesda. To my great surprise, I'm LOVING it! What's not to love - quiet time, with no-one calling and asking me to do anything and I'm not even breaking a sweat. The only competition while you're out there perfecting your swing, is You! How do you make the next shot better than the one before - that's it! Of course, the thought occurred to me one Saturday morning that anytime men are all over something, women should jump right on it because chances are, we're missing out when we don't. In this case, we miss out both the down time AND the professional opportunities that the game lends itself to.

The irony here is that I started off with the intention of not having to decline the next golf invitation that came my way. I have now accepted that career growth requires a mastery of both technical proficiency and effectively working the social space. And to be honest, there are some special challenges when working that space as a black woman who also happens to be a mother. But in the process, I have found a space for myself that I quite enjoy - one where my family can join in the fun sometimes, but one where I can be tranquil and reflective. So here's to my new discovery ... let me know if you want to join in sometime - I promise you just might like it!

Time Flies

2009-05-27T05:58:00.000-07:00

So this morning, Princess woke me at 6:00am ... I repeat ... Princess woke me at 6:00 am, with a smile, fully dressed and informed me that she already had her breakfast. "Breakfast!!!" My daughter's breakfast for the past eight years (with the exception of the odd guilt infused week) has consisted of a cup of chocolate milk -- thanks to (a) the article that informed me there is more energy packed into a cup of chocolate milk than Gatorade and (b) the fact that I decided to unpick the battle of rushing to make breakfast then fight with a child for 30 minutes after that about eating it, only to throw it all away at the 35th minute (minus two bites when it's time to rush out the door).

But I digress. My daughter's birthday present to me was yet another one of those sharp bends in the road of motherhood - that arrives without warning - and signals that we have again transitioned and there is now one less thing that I will be "doing" for my daughter. It's funny - encountering these moments helps me to take a deep breadth when I'm feeling overwhelmed by, for example, potty training with Prince. I try to keep reminding myself - before you know it, this will be behind you and the opportunity does not come back. So I try to enjoy the process of "mothering" a bit more - with each child. Even when the morning routine for the past few years meant I could either (a) not work out or (b) work out in the morning and feel like I've been going for five hours when I sit at my desk at 8:30. Coincidentally, my son's birthday present was sleeping through the night with no pull-ups and no accidents.

Time is indeed flying ... so today as I celebrate my birthday, I am thankful for the gift of another year of health, happiness, employment (not to be taken lightly these days) and a beautiful family. I am also reminded that each opportunity to "mother" is also a gift - one that is to be appreciated and enjoyed daily.

Today I will also embrace the fact that I missed the meeting at Princess' school last night that was supposed to wrap up the year of the diversity committee - did I mention I am the co-chair of that committee? But of course, I forgot for the following reasons: (i) my iphone is not synched with my work calendar; (ii) I left work early to take a high school friend who spent the weekend with us back to the airport - so the reminder did not pop up; (iii) there have been school activities almost every day last week and this week; (iv) my work calendar had a glitch yesterday that caused about 20 appointments to pop up all at the same time so I deleted them all; and (v) I was not paying attention to my calendar anyway as I was stressing over the fact that I had to leave work early again as I have to take a day off for Princess' field trip on Thursday and will miss Prince's end of year class party on Friday. So, I embrace this insanity today because in a few years, this is all going to be a distant memory so why taint it?

Thanks!

2009-04-29T08:20:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's almost three months since I've posted anything to my blog - in large part because I have been completely swamped with home-work, play dates, cleaning (I got rid of my cleaning person because we are in a tight economy and I'm trying really hard to make decisions about needs vs. wants), etc. etc. But I'm back and my first post is an ode to thankfulness.

While we are rushing around, dashing from here to there, we have to remind ourselves to stop and smell the roses. To be truly thankful for all the many blessings we have even as everything around us seems to be going crazy. Last week I was reminded that as much as we have to remind ourselves to be thankful as adults, it is never too early to teach our kids how to be thankful as it really is a life lesson.

Last week after we were all hit with the stomach flu (with the exception of hubby who of course was out of the country when we were all busy contracting the virus) and my mom dutifully cared for my entire family, my mom got hit on Saturday - just in time for Princess' school auction and sleep-over.

When Princess started crying, I lost my patience and scolded that she was not being very appreciative of all grandma did to take care of us when we were sick. To which Princess replied "I wish you had started teaching me about being thankful when I was one or two, so now that I'm eight, I would understand better how to be thankful". I stopped and asked - really? I never taught you about thankfulness before? Don't I talk to your brother about being thankful? The retort - "No." So I thanked Princess for her insights and told her she was absolutely right - it is never too early to start teaching kids to be thankful.

So here's to being thankful - for all the bumps, bruises, twists and curves that life throws - there is no way to achieve balance without a healthy dose of thankfulness!

How does he do it?

2009-02-10T20:34:00.000-08:00

I don't know how he does it, but whatever the deal, I'm now pretty sure he does it on purpose to flip me off. Ever since my son was three months old, he has had the uncanny ability to catch you at your weakest moment then throw up over EVERYTHING - usually in the bed, which means stripping all the linens, trekking to the laundry two floors down - then starting the entire bed time routine all over again. In fact, he was so skilled at three months, that he won the "cry it out" war and has not slept in his crib since.

Prince is now almost three and a half years old and oops, he did it again. After a long day at work, followed by a trip to the pool to watch and pick up Princess from swim practice, a return trip to the pool after getting home and realizing that Princess left her swimsuit, goggles and other stuff at the pool, etc. etc. (despite the fact that she has a swim backpack that is large enough to carry the entire pool) I'm finally getting the kids to bed. Prince is really congested, so we spend 30 mins looking for the nebulizer, give him some cough syrup and just as I was about to give him some Ocean spray he starts screaming, then coughing, then screaming, then coughing. Then hubby takes him to the next room to show him who the man in the house was. Then Prince let it all out on the bed .... I'm convinced he does this on purpose!

Three (or more) is a crowd

2009-02-09T09:43:00.000-08:00

After going out with my hubby (and two other couples) on Saturday night, on the heels of a mini-get away with the hubby the weekend before, I am beginning to realize that it is not only nice, but essential to be able to spend quality time with your hubby away from the kids. For numerous reasons, I feel like I rarely do this - as my mom cares for our kids when we're at work, I feel really badly asking her to help out on the weekend, but I feel worse paying someone else babysit when I could just give my mom the money. So I have found that increasingly, we spend no time together alone unless we're going to do errands (and it's truly a sorry state of affairs when a trip to the grocery store is a date). That's cute when you're dating - not so much when you're married. So this is my plug for re-connecting. I've decided that in my quest to find the ultimate balance, having a social life with my hubby is one of the best presents I could give to my kids.

Then my friend forwarded this article to me ... the author said it so well, I decided to share the link ... let me know what you think!

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/05/opinion/05coontz.html?partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

When it rains ...

2009-02-04T19:43:00.000-08:00

So I had every intention of making my next post a story about my anniversary rendezvous to Cancun with hubby - first trip together without the family in tow in nine years (our honeymoon cruise with Princess in the oven doesn't count). Now let's be clear - the trip was FANTASTIC! We stayed at this incredible resort - the Me-Cancun - that was an amazing experience from the scented lobby when you first arrive, the hip music, the incredible food, the outstanding service, the romantic bali beds overlooking the pool and the ocean and the list can go on. I have now decided that after nine years, solo trips for the marriage are essential - there's nothing like it for reconnecting with your hubby and for getting real sleep.

But despite these wonderful thoughts, what got me to my computer two nights after returning home is the electric jolt with which I was brought back to reality almost immediately upon touching down at Reagan National Airport.

First the drizzle ... 45 minutes to find the car after we arrived home because hubby, who drove us to the airport, didn't remember where he parked the car. Now it occurred to me that I should pay attention, but every once in a while, I dare to believe that my extremely detail oriented hubby (at least when it comes to putting out the garbage and paying the bills) would think to pay attention to where he is parking the car. Alas, this was not to be. Now in his defense, we did catch a 6am flight out after a rough week at work and parenting (and school for hubby). But seriously, after a lavish three night retreat and a too long flight to get home, getting into the car should NOT, under any circumstances, take 45 minutes (after wife decides to check the ground floor of the parking lot after walking back and forth on the same three floors).

Then we arrive home. To say the kids are thrilled to see us would be the understatement of the year. My daughter is SO excited that she prepares a "dish" that includes butter, eggs, water, chocolate sauce and other ingredients I cannot recall. I must find a way to gently let Princess know that while I appreciate the kind gesture, that "dish" simply is not for human consumption. To which she replies "you think it's disgusting, don't you?" I smile and hug her and assure her it's not disgusting, just not edible. Did I mention I was exhausted?

It's raining now: we finally get the kids to bed - Princess wakes up the next morning complaining of an itchy throat. Lovely, I now recall the e-mail from the nurse at school that there were two reported cases of strep in her class last week - so she stays home for the day. When I call home during the day to check-in, my mom informs me that she chipped her tooth/filling and would have to go the dentist the next day. This would also be the day that mom has an appointment (long standing) with a specialist.

The downpour: next day - Princess claims to still not be feeling better and while I know in my heart she doesn't have strep, my head won't let me not take her to the doctor. So now what is on my agenda for today? Mom has two doctor's appointments, Prince has school, Princess is sick and hubby and I can't possibly take time off work when every day another 10,000 plus people lose their jobs. And of course while everyone is willing to help me make this happen, let's be clear, this is something that I have to figure out. So after hours of twitching, starting the e-mail to my boss and deleting it three times, I decide on "the plan".

.... Prince is not going to school because he's in pre-school anyway so I've got to let this one go. Hubby will stay at home with Prince and Princess in the morning while mom gets to her appointments. I will catch a ride to work with a friend. Hubby will pick me up (from work) before he goes into the office around 11 am (of course I had a meeting scheduled at 10, which was cancelled by 10:05). I drop hubby at the metro and head home with the kids and get them something to eat until mom gets home. When mom arrives, I head back to the office. By 6:30pm when I'm leaving work (didn't make the 5:30 escape to the gym) who am I kidding - I'm not going to the gym now - all I want to do is go home.

Two days back and I'm ready for another vacation, because the number one law of motherhood is to accept the fact that once it starts raining .....

Double Lives

2009-01-15T23:03:00.000-08:00

Several years ago I did a pretty unscientific survey. I was in the job market having recently returned to the country from a stint abroad and feeling pretty optimistic about my future. I was trying to transition from law firm to "anything but a law firm". So I did some temp work and started my search. At this point I only had one child - Princess. After a very short time I landed a pretty good job - at a law firm - but was generally happy to be employed (so I didn't complain). An interesting side bar - at the end of my job search, I had two offers. Both offers were from firms where I did not mention the fact that I had kids during the interview. I did not get any offers from firms (or even academic institutions) where I mentioned my daughter (even in passing).

Flashback ... when we were graduating from law school, a friend who just had her first son was talking about the interviewing process and she commented that you cannot talk about your kids during an interview. Back then, childless and not even married, I replied - if you can't tell a prospective employer about your kids, then that's not a job you want anyway.

Now it's 2009 and I find myself making a new pledge - not to talk about my kids at work. Toward the end of last year I started realizing that anytime I mentioned my kids in relation to time off etc., I started hearing references to my kids often in very patronizing ways - like "I completely understand that you have to leave early sometimes because you've got kids ... but I don't mind!" The first time - no problem, the second time, kinda strange, but by the third time, you just have to shut it down.

So I've decided in the interest of my professional development, it's better not to mention my kids. No early pick-ups, no doctor's appointments, no parent-teacher conferences, no class plays, nothing ... nada .... Because the sad but true reality that we sometimes live as mothers is that your boss probably does not want to hear about your kids (even when he says he does).... especially if that discussion involves a reason why you won't be doing what s/he's paying you to do. Now if you're a father, the rules change - but that's a post for another day!

Unleashed

2009-01-13T20:30:00.000-08:00

BK (before kids) - I recall seeing children on leashes while walking with their parents through a store or mall. Given my Caribbean roots, I recall thinking self-righteously "who on earth would put their child on a leash"?

AK (after kids and Prince in particular) - we are leaving swimming practice - Prince, Princess, my mom and me (hubby is at class tonight). Prince takes off, running like Dash on the Incredibles - and I'm wearing three inch heels having gone straight to the pool from work. I can't catch him. I scream after him, but having absolutely no sense of the danger he is in, Prince runs even faster. I tell Princess to run after him, she obeys and catches up to him, but he fights her off before I can get there then he's off again - into the parking lot - it's dark and anything can happen. My heart is racing, I'm terrified and he is laughing hysterically. Did I mention Prince cost me several thousand dollars as soon as he learned to walk because we had to install a fence around our home after a few similarly horrible experiences at home? Anyway, I finally catch him safely at the car (only by the grace of God) and I'm livid and terrified. The entire drive home I contemplated heading to Target tomorrow to purchase a leash - Eddie Bauer has a cute "harness buddy" and I'd rather seem like an evil parent than have to even think the unthinkable.

"Me First" Sunday

2009-01-12T18:42:00.000-08:00

So this Sunday I decided to put "me" first after my mom shared an excerpt of the Michelle Obama biography with me on Saturday. According to the book, when Michelle was up early one morning with baby Sasha, feeling tired and out of shape, she looked across to see her husband (yes, that would be Barack Obama) sleeping soundly at her side. Michelle then decided - at 4:30 in the morning to go to the gym only to get home and find that her girls were up and fed. Michelle then commented that with men the order of things is: "me" first, family second, God is somewhere in the equation then there is everything else. She then correctly noted that with women, we have the tendency to put "me" fourth.

This reminds me of the decision that I made when Prince was born (almost five years after I suffered through numerous nighttime feedings, changings, burpings etc., etc., with Princess). Much like Doree in Nemo who sings "just keep swimming", I forced myself to "just keep sleeping" when Prince woke up crying. I thought to myself, if I just keep sleeping at some point my husband would hear the son who he adored and feel the need to care for his needs just as I did (particularly because my husband always goes into work later than I do). And to my surprise, I was right. My theory worked. Night after night I listened to my hubby dutifully wake up and care for our son until it got to the point where even if I woke up to care of him, he screamed and cried and demanded his dad. Yet, in so many other areas of my life, I find myself slipping into the "me fourth" pattern.

So on Saturday when Princess started commenting that her body hurt (i.e. her muscles hurt) after gymnastics and swimming classes that I dutifully take her to and sit on my behind for two hours while ensuring that she gets the necessary exercise to stay fit and healthy, I decided - tomorrow, it's "me" first. And I did it - woke up at 9:30 - headed to my hot yoga class by 10:00 then got home by noon and proceeded to be mommy again. Of course, I felt a bit out of sorts for the rest of the day. But today, my muscles ache ... and I can smile from the effects of "me first Sunday"!

Computer Engineer

2009-01-06T18:13:00.000-08:00

So it's been a while since I've blogged - caught up in the holiday fever and trying to stay calm in the midst of the hell that is the private school application process. But the events of this weekend forced me to get online again.

Last weekend I decided that it was time to paint the playroom. I was tired of seeing the dirt streaked walls and after all, I purchased my $5 gallon of "oops" paint at Home Depot months ago. Enough procrastinating about moving all the toys, getting behind the piano, etc., etc., etc. I went to Ikea, picked up some storage items, then decided to get to work. After heading to the basement to get my painting supplies, I discovered that my hubby must have thrown out the roller after our last paint job. It's now 9pm and my dream of a painted play room is now slowly slipping away. But hubby offers to go pick up the roller because Home Depot doesn't close until 10pm. I'm thrilled - I'm going to get the job done after all!

When hubby heads to HD, I decide to do some brain quest activities with princess and prince is running around - not begging for attention, not getting in the way, just being a good little boy. Hubby returns home about 30 minutes later with my roller - I thank him, he heads upstairs, then I hear the following: "Prince took all the keys off my computer!!!!!!!!" To which I reply: "What?" I mean seriously, I could not have heard him right. Because that just cannot be possible. Then he repeats it - the agitation in his voice growing. I fly - literally - up the stairs to the bedroom and stare in horror - no, disbelief - no, amazement - no, shock. I've never seen anything like it - ALL the keys were off the computer and strewn all over the bedroom - bed, floor, everywhere! Of course, hubby blamed me for insisting that the computer should be community property (and probably also for requiring him to go to Home Depot). Of course, hubby isn't blaming himself for leaving the computer, unattended on the bed, while heading down the street.

So I spend the next three hours dutifully piecing together the keyboard on the macbook (because of course there is no way hubby can even begin to attempt this task as he won't even assemble IKEA furniture). By 1am, we are down to seven broken keys. So I then spent the next three hours painting because I was so wound up by the night's events that I could not sleep if I tried. Fortunately, the mac store saved my marriage by replacing the broken keys for free on Sunday morning (that's my plug for Apple). And I'm thinking ... who wants to be an Engineer?

Everyday Math?

2008-11-17T17:06:00.000-08:00

I know this "Everyday Math" is all the rage, but seriously, at the end of a long day, why do I have to make sense of 28-10+2 when I'm trying to figure out the answer to 28-8? If you're doing subtraction, you're supposed to be subtracting!

Breathless

2008-10-08T08:20:00.000-07:00

So after leaving work yesterday afternoon, I went home to hang out with the kids for an hour before heading to back-to-school night at my son's pre-school. I make this decision instead of going for a drink before the meeting because I feel some guilt over the fact that I won't see my kids tonight even if the reason I won't see them is a good one (i.e. I'm being a caring, interested parent in the eyes of his school). My husband of course can't make the meeting because he can't get out of work on time and my son needs at least one representative, so of course, it's me!

Within 10 minutes of being at home, Princess starts showing me the "dark princess" costume she really wants for Halloween this year because the princess costume she has from two years ago that she wore once does not look dark and the bratz costume from last year (again, worn once) is a "genie" and she MUST be a dark princess and it's not enough to dye the light princess costume or just buy a black witch hat. So now, I am a witch because I refuse to spend yet another $40 on another costume that will sit in the closet collecting dust. So I leave the house for the meeting with a child who is in tears and distraught over the fact that her mother is a witch who won't make her happy by meeting this very simple request.

This morning, Prince wakes me at 6am because he needs to find his green train. I kid you not, Prince has over 20 trains, many of which are green, but apparently none of trains that we find today meet the criteria. I finally manage to get another 1/2 hour of sleep only to wake up to the news that it's my day to take Prince to school because Hubby has class tonight and mom is volunteering at Princess' school so I accept that I will get to work late. I'm now tired and cranky because I stayed up way too late last night watching the debate and the post-debate analysis - but I get Prince ready and we head out the door to the chant of "I want my green train" and mommy promising to buy this mysterious green train although I have no idea what train is missing! We are now almost at school, when he starts - "No, I want to go back home!" I park the car and when I go to unbuckle Prince, he is standing on the floor with his head buried in the car seat (don't ask). I get him out the car, lift all forty pounds all the way to his classroom, then he starts screaming and crying that he wants to go home. After trying every trick in the book, I eventually leave him screaming (because when all else fails, the trick that works is for mommy to get lost) and head to the office because of course, today is picture day and I forgot the forms at home.

So I pay for the pictures - go to check on Prince who is now lying on the floor looking like the world has come to an end - leave the school close to tears and am now heading to work at 9:30. I'm almost at work when I decide it's time to put on some lipstick so my face does not reflect the horror show that was my life this morning and of course - I have no make-up because I left my handbag in the office at Prince's school. Seriously - I couldn't make this sh*& up if I tried ....

A whole new world

2008-10-07T13:55:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my blog - hopefully as I embark on this new adventure, my blog will become much more inviting. For today, my task is simple - get it up and running because apparently there is a whole new world out there that I've been accessing daily, without fully comprehending its breadth.

For the past year, I've been an Obamamama - a political junkie who clicks furiously through the various left leaning blogs to understand every twist and turn that this election has taken ever since Barack Obama announced his candidacy for POTUS. I've slowly learned the lingo of the political blogosphere and I now realize that by the time I get home in the evening, there is nothing that Chris Matthews has to report that I haven't learned already at TPM or the Huffington Post. I also occasionally check out my friends' blogs thinking how on earth do they find the time to add one more thing to their schedules? I mean really - who has the time to diary the insanity that has become our lives just for the heck of it (that word "heck" has taken on new significance these days)?

Then I discovered - this blogging thing may just be worth the investment of time because one of my blogging moms disclosed this juicy nugget - she was given an all expenses paid trip to check out a Disney resort! Now THAT's my language. I love writing and sharing experiences, but the thought of a free vacation in the year when I've taken two all-American vacations by loading my family and food and heading to a nearby shore, is all the motivation I need to get busy. Mind you, the vacations were fun - we headed to Nemacolin (a woodland resort) where the kids got to feed wild animals like bears and tigers and we got some good R&R - and before that we took a trip to the Chesapeake Bay where we flew kites, enjoyed some fresh air and swam in the indoor/outdoor hot tub. But at this point even Princess is at the point where she's like "Mom, can we go on a real vacation ... like when we get on an airplane?"

So, now I just have to find a way to work this into my schedule while trying to maintain my equilibrium - amidst the dropping off at school, picking up from swimming, gymnastics, Kumon or music, attending the myriad school events (bazaars, back to school nights, picnics, etc. etc.) that have now doubled because my son started pre-school this fall, and most of all working so that I can afford to pay the tuition for my kids to go to school (that's a story for another post) and lest I forget the most important thing, trying to stay fit - because I could barely afford to take a vacation this year and unless someone bails me out, next year isn't looking a whole lot better. Stay tuned as I am embark on this journey into a whole new world!